This is Part 4 in a series on change within a congregation. The focus is continued from Part 3 and hones in on power brokers. As previously discussed, power brokers can provide blind spots for official leaders. Unclear and open-ended mission statements can enable power brokers. Also, even long-time members can be unaware of power brokers and their influence. This post will specifically discuss the challenge and opportunity that power brokers present.
So what about change in a congregation? Does everything really need to involve a power broker to be started and completed? This is where I wish there was a simple singular answer. But there isn’t.
Context matters. In every relationship, context matters and gives everyone in the relationship options and tools. Here’s a few ideas that I have found to be helpful -and of course, there are PLENTY of books written on this topic for those who want a deeper dive.
Pay attention to as many relationships as you can. Decisions should NOT make everyone initially ‘happy,’ and consensus can be tricky, even for Quakers (Friends). But to completely leave someone out, or to take a confrontational approach, can impact many future decisions. Personally, I believe in being as straight-forward and open as possible. Naming that leadership is aware that not everyone is in agreement, but that for the better of the group and in fulfillment of the agreed upon mission and vision statements, they will move forward is important.
Be aware of when to ask, and when to simply act. This is not to be “sneaky,” but rather to acknowledge the energy that action and change take. If every small detail needs community voice, then maybe the community does NOT trust its leadership. If true, that should be NAMED publicly and openly. It’s a hard statement to make without sounding antagonistic, but I do think it gives a check and balance for the community to realize when they are micromanaging leadership. This often means hiding disagreements between each other, hoping a leader will stay triangled and act as some sort of politician. Congregations are only as strong as the network and web of relationships that keep them together, regardless of size. These webs can look very different, but relationships are still key regardless of form.
Learn the history and value of decisions. One way to do this is to find good community historians, who may be the persons who react to change the strongest. Sometimes they can be the same person and feel the congregational history in ways other people cannot articulate. Often, with some good respectful questioning, these people will be able to tell you what current changes will be seen as counter to previous actions and investments. They can tell you who sacrificed for the beautiful organ that you want to remove because no one has played it for a couple of years. They can tell you why changing fundraising yet again seems ironic after spending two years forming the current protocol about a decade ago. They’d hate to see the church ‘waste’ time after a thorough process a decade ago.
These historians can tell you why changing something in the worship service will risk forgetting the impact of a beloved pastor and worship leader 20 years ago, and maybe even impact the financial support of five families that loved that era and those leaders. To be clear, it doesn’t mean this ‘historian’ should have the final say. But any official leader is wise to understand as much of the context of a decision as possible. Another word for this knowledge is the “institutional memory.”
Enjoy the people you disagree with the most. This is some mixture of “love your enemies” and “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” Of course those phrasings are highly negative. I still stick with my wording - ENJOY the people you disagree with most. I never found one person or group of people to be against everything I did or changed in official leadership. In fact, I have found that allies can come from interesting places that often surprised me. Please don’t stereo-type people into allies and challengers. I truly believe that people are complex, and you never fully know what they’ll care about, and what’ll they’ll ignore. Even the people I tended to disagree with, I found major agreements with. Also, people I agreed with could have foundational disagreements with me in certain other decisions. Be prepared for surprises, and ENJOY the process of understanding one another. Relationships, openness, goodwill, and clear intentions can weather most disagreements.
Don’t wait to build relationships. I am unaware of any lasting change that did not start with rapport. In fact, one book on ministry suggests not making ANY significant changes for at LEAST one year. Spend that time getting to know the congregation and the people. From day one, start learning who cares about what. Start learning which relationships are strong and weak, and which ones are healthy. To be clear, strong relationships can be unhealthy, and weak relationships can still be healthy. Start to learn how much the mission statement is “internal” to the culture of the congregation, and how much it is written and “external.” Get a sense of when change went well, and when it didn’t. There are many different signs of this, so be clear on what you define as ‘going well.’
Be creative. Relationships and change are like artwork to me - like painting, songwriting, sculpting, etc. You start out with a clear enough vision, but you adjust as the art progresses. Change and relationships are both the same. It’s good to be clear and specific, but please don’t lock yourself into predetermining what beauty should look like. ENJOY the process, and the people in the process. ENJOY the difficulty in change. The best artwork touches the deepest parts of our joy and sadness, of our disappointments and hopes. Hopefully, healthy change does the same. Hopefully, healthy relationships do the same. One simple thing I started doing was using the word experiment. I would designate about 3 months for a new action, and then promise folks I would give a report on how it went. Even if the report was informal, I would note why I was continuing, or discontinuing the decision. Often, people would forget after one month that anything had even changed!
Be thankful. This includes the people that disagreed. Celebrate their involvement, candor, and how they named value and meaning in their dissent. Emphasize that winning and losing is not congregational language, but collective decision-making, and loyalty to the group’s mission and vision. This community commitment expresses their relationship to, and definition of God.
Name the failures. All official leaders also need to be able to name shortcomings. Even when decisions are intense, be willing to name when things don’t go well, and WHY. If the process was internally ugly, then name how that sabotaged the energy and motivation. If things simply didn’t go as planned, named the surprises that caught the congregation off guard. You don’t have to take all the blame, but at least acknowledge that learning and failing are part of decision making. Build a culture of risk taking, especially in front of your children. A congregation’s children must learn the stories of sacrifice and risk that each era and generation undertook so they will have the courage and empowerment to do the same. Hopefully this leads to a culture of grit and relational depth/bonding instead of culture of fear and fighting.
Take your time, and know the value of timing. Rushing relationships rarely builds trust, and drawn out decisions rarely leave energy. If you want to fight change, your biggest asset is time, and making something take too much time. If you want to promote change, be aware of timing, and opportunity. Building the base for change matters.
Name the power brokers, and name when you yourself are a power broker! If you are not an official leader, but care deeply about a decision, or fear a change, be as self aware as you can. Ask yourself these questions:
Are you prone to threats against official leadership?
Do you feel powerless, even though/when you are not?
Do you feel your hopes and intentions are being diminished?
Do you long for the past, and to make your congregation great again?
Is it really hard to view the future with hope and excitement?
Have you invested lots of money and time in the church in general?
Have your relatives and friends invested lots of money and time in the church?
Did you have a major official role in the church in the distant or recent past?
Do you feel you own more of the church than some of the other members?
Is it difficult to name the mission of the church and what it looks like in the future? (Many power brokers have a vivid description of the past they want replicated in the future - the past tends to ‘override’ the future.)
The more you answered yes, the more you are a power broker within the congregation or within a certain area of congregational life. Consider being proactive in a way that doesn’t rely on stroking your ego. Is it possible to offer yourself as a resource to the official leaders and congregation, without getting in the way and without getting personally offended? Be honest, maybe it’s not. Maybe you are so invested, that it’s as personal as a child or homestead might be. Is it at least possible to start building good will with official leaders and staff for the time when they disagree with you and your hopes? That time WILL come inevitably…
Remember that the official leaders are the children of the church. Remember that 18 year olds have a lot to offer, let alone people in their 20s and 30s. If we do not share responsibility and leadership with others, they will go elsewhere to find their agency and empowerment. They will find spirituality in other places, community in other places and relationships in other places.
I have deep hope in Christianity and the religions of the world, including atheism, humanism, and science. May we understand the people we want to spend our time with. May we understand our disagreements, and may we sacrifice for each other. May it be mutual, and may it always point to the vision of the God we define and the values we claim to believe in. May we trust our children as we remember our ancestors. May we share power out of joy instead of fear. May we be prone to release more than we fight. May we spend more time enjoying each other, than trying to convince each other.
Peace,
Tory