Many among all of us live in fear daily. Generally. All the time, not just when we are on lock-down due to global pandemic protocols. The undocumented fear ICE. The beaten spouse fears date night. Women walking alone at night fear rape. The young black scholar fears trigger happy police. And those with acute climate awareness fear the coming crisis.
For those of us deeply immersed in the environmental worlds, we fear in part this we are experiencing right now -global pandemics, as they are a known part of a predictable climate apocalypse. But we also fear many things, or if we do not actively FEAR them, for that is part of this whole issue itself, we do know they are coming. We have acknowledged the fear along with its cousins despair and grief and integrated them into our world views. Hopefully. And I do mean both that I hope many of us have been able to do that integration itself, and that we have done so with hope.
Fear can be a good thing, as a sign and a signal for action. Fear can also lead quickly to very bad things, of course. We see those things easily. Fear is the rationale for far too many dangerous, violent, and divisive actions. But fear can also be the only alert to true danger. It can be an alarm, although it’s never a place to stay, with its constant bells and lights and their never-ending stimulus assaults. Neither fear nor anger is grounds on which permanent action can stand, although they have been the catalysts for much.
The fear to look out for is the creeping fear, that which is backbone of so many thrillers and horror stories. Creeping fear gains power when it is not faced. And some of our creeping fears are smacking us upside the head at the moment. For instance, many of us have long had a creeping fear that the integrity of news outlets had become too compromised by financial ties. When that creeping fear intersects with the worry that vetting be impossible and fact-checking a doomed endeavor, who the hell do you turn to in a global crisis?
Yes. Creeping fear is what feeds our uncertainty, what makes the air feel eerie as our cities slowly shut down. And thankfully, it is this kind of creeping fear that is combated effectively by what is most needed right now. Individual action (or in this case radical inaction) coupled with extreme mutual aid and assistance will transform this pandemic crisis.
This is a time when individual action has great community impact. Right now, the actions of each person will affect the whole in very tangible ways. We will be able to see it nationally when the virus runs its course, in colorful maps with real data. Where people flattened the curve and where they didn’t. Where deaths were in the hundreds and where they were in the thousands. Where systems of aid and support developed and where they didn’t. But those are the aggregate effects of each person, and much more easily seen.
I’ve never seen a more direct example of the small affecting the large as this right here. Many of us believe that we must embody the changes, the attitudes, the perceptions that we want to see in the world –we are the agents of change. In my Christian language, I am acting as the hands and feet of God and what I bind and name here in that work has deep and real impact.
The fear is real, because the danger is. But the hope is very real, too. The external mimics the internal, the outer world reflects the inner. The small things each one of us does or does not do can be felt around the world. And as we have all had stabs and waves of fear, if we’re honest, we can also be open to this hope. That we will shift. That we can change. For we must. But for now…
Be still. Breathe. Be grateful.