Life in a Time of Fear, Connective Actions

This has been a frightening week in America.

Now, that’s a loaded statement, I know. It has been a frightening week in America many times. And it is often a frightening week in America for those among us. It may frequently be for you.

But for the first time since 9/11, we are having a collective experience that will change us forever. Many more people will die in the next month than died on that day. And the numbers could be staggering if we do not radically change every one of our patterns, our regular day-to-day activities, right now.

Right. Now.

And that is scary enough. Can I really remember to not touch my face? It seems not. I am apparently enslaved by my itchy eyeballs, buzzy ears, and dry lips. But I am determined to change this behavior. Can I really not see my loved ones? I must not. Can you really wash your hands that much? As long as you have soap, get to it. Can we all truly just stay home? We must end the cycles of transmission and extreme isolation is the best way to do that. The final step is quarantine so just do it now by choice. Stay. Home. Self-quarantine, people.

I’ve been calling it quasi-quarantine. Until this week, when I plan to stay home altogether, I and my spouse have gone out some to grocery shop, and I have seen my best friend and a few others. We began household changes of “home-only-clothes” and no shoes inside 2 weeks ago. And now we plan to hunker down.

But I know many of us also carry the looming doubts about our inaction. How am I going to pay rent? Or that damn phone bill? Did I get homebound soon enough? Did we wait too long? Who chooses what media we’re absorbing, whose fear and projections wash over it all, which interpretations should reign? Does any of it even matter if so many other people are endangering others at each moment?

Yes. Yes, it does. Every single choice matters right now and yet it is also true that there is no precisely right way to do this. There are things we must all be aware of, yes, but we are each going to develop our own patterns as we live into this time. Every child is experiencing this –there’s no need to worry yours will fall behind, even if tests are missed and trips untaken. Every workplace is affected –somehow, we will make decisions that bring reconciliation, even if all business will not survive.

And like climate change, whether someone believes a global pandemic is happening or not, it is. Which brings to bear a much greater burden on those of us who are aware. We must stay put. Stay home. Isolate and quarantine. Clean and sanitize. If you have the resources to do this, you must.

On our own so much, the fear, anxiety, and boredom can be overwhelming. Well, I’m a GenXer. We’re never bored. But the rest of you… We can begin to feel alone and small, or manic and panicked. But we are not alone. In fact, we are all here in some way.

And that is the truth: We are connected in the midst of this. Some in fear, yes. But also in  generative, connective ways.

Connective action –and inaction- is the key.

At some point, this connective action must begin with the internal. Even if we’re isolated with family, there will be solitude. There will be silence. There will be time to count breaths, to listen to heartbeats. Sometimes, I don’t know myself well or see myself clearly, and I could spend more time being with me. We are also deeply connected to each other at this ground level of being. And to Creation, to Earth and all beings. To find this rhythm, to rest on that ground, requires a radical connective inaction of simply being still.

And yes, this time is opening up all sorts of new ways to connect externally. Begin with reaching out to your separated family and friends. Are you part of a church or social group? Send an email or message. Just check in. There are also Mutual Aid systems developing everywhere, communities of assistance and help in response to need. Many of these require that you have an internet connection or a presence in any of the social media platforms to at least find out about them. (And I mean any platform. Mutual Aid groups are forming and posting across the country on Instagram, Pinterest, FaceBook, Twitter, Meet-up.)

Any and all of the ways that we have developed to connect online are being used in this way. Searches might include keywords “COVID19, Your region or city, Help, Assistance, Mutual Aid, Resources” or could be hosted by non-profits or Houses of Worship. Several municipal jurisdictions have coordinated volunteers as well. If you cannot find anything in your area, please send us a message on our contact us page.

If you don’t have a solid internet connection or any social media presence and are not sure of anything to do, may I suggest notes and letters? Of course to friends and family but also consider writing to soldiers and prisoners. They always need mail, and real connections can be made. At the very least, these who are so often alone and isolated will be reminded that they are in fact not.

I am not suggesting that you find a bundle of good works to do or that you establish a new set of personal spiritual disciplines. What I am suggesting is that you reach.

I ask you reach in, and connect with yourself, with God if that’s your bag, with your family if they are with you. You don’t need a revelation, or to find any state of mind. But we are all human beings who have always needed to settle into what that means.

I ask you to reach out in some way. You don’t have to fix anything. But pick up the phone and call a distant family member. Text your friends. Maybe end up cutting old curtains into mask patterns or running errands for the elderly –who knows? Please know that you aren’t the only one unsure what to say, or even if your overture will be wanted, or enough. It will be. You are. And you will.

Be well. Be at peace.

Breathe and be still.